"The Price You Pay"
Sometimes, you'll be the toast of the town, other times, it feels like the world could be a better place without you. Maybe that's a pretty extreme outlook on it, but as the days go on I'm starting to realize that maybe I've put my life in people's hands too many times. I see people I thought I grew life long friendships with, turn out to be not so much, but then maybe if I was on the outside looking in, I'd feel the same way about me. I've graduated now, and I really understand that in order to be successful I'm going to have to move a whole lot different than I have been. I see people running so fast toward the finish line that they are simply forgetting the beauty of the race, missing the complete journey.
None of us know how many days we have left on this planet. I do know this, I have to continue to distance myself from all the people, places and things that do not serve me or make me happy. There can be no more lip service. I have begun to question my mental health again, I've begun to doubt myself again. I feel like I'm falling back into that realm of thinking that everything everyone else thinks is more important than what I think of myself and that is a horrible problem to have. I think I'll focus this next week on letting more people, places and things go. There is indeed a price you pay when you put yourself out there. I think if people are really there for you, you shouldn't ever have to guess.
Thoughts From The DramaSydE
This my friends, fans, foes and whomever else may read this, is a long time coming. I have struggled for many years with issues of my past, issues of my present and fear and uncertainty of my future. The one thing that I want you to take from this entry, this very first entry here is that no matter what people say or what they throw at you...NEVER GIVE UP! Don't give up on yourself because it's so so easy, especially in the world we live in today. Now since this is my website, my vision, my passion, this is gonna be a very candid space, space where unbridled truth is told. It will not be held back or delayed or danced around to preserve feelings. It is what it is, I fully expect you all to disagree on a lot of what I say, because let's face it, it's the way of the world these days. Let's make this clear, I am a free thinker, but not as you would think, I'm not on any kind Kanye West bullshit. If you can't handle language, not much but a little, I'm not for you. If you can't handle blunt honesty, I'm not for you. If we can talk here and be respectful of one another even when we may disagree then this may be a spot we can kick it. But if you have already made up your mind that you don't like me then please don't bother even coming here beyond this post because, there's probably nothing I'm ever gonna say that's ever gonna change your mind, and quite frankly I don't care too. I'm here after all this time because of passion, because of desire. I want to thank everyone who has ever left my life, THANK YOU, (starting with you mother) because, without knowing such pain and such loss at such an early age, I wouldn't have ever accomplished any of the things I have in my life thus far. To all the ones I wasn't good enough for, all the people who ever put me down, trashed my name, God Bless You, but guess what I'm not here to concede. I'm here to meet you on any and every verbal street and go blow for blow and knock for knock. This is of course unless I deem you unworthy of my precious time. Simply put, you come with negative energy and you don't emotionally move me? I ignored you from the first word! This place here? is a celebration of music, art, life, and love and yes, sometimes pain. You get it all here with me, I just no longer give a fuck about being afraid to live. I'm here with all my imperfections, naked for the world to see. I thank you for coming!